


Heads Will Roll

by Pizzzazlut



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, Haunted Asylum, Hux is a believer, Inspired by Buzzfeed Supernatural, Kylo Ren is a Mess, Kylo Ren is skeptic, M/M, he also is scared shitless, soft kylux for two seconds because i can't help myself, two dumbasses one ghost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:13:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24638947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pizzzazlut/pseuds/Pizzzazlut
Summary: Hux and Kylo decide to venture into the notoriously haunted Arkanis Asylum one night to try and see if they can get actual evidence in their ongoing investigation into the question, are ghosts real?
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	Heads Will Roll

**Author's Note:**

> A Kylux AU based off Buzzfeed Supernatural and my favorite ghoul boys, Ryan and Shane. Let's be real, Kylo and Hux have the same dumbass energy.
> 
> Thanks to Twitter and the wonderful darlings that inspired this <3
> 
> I watched Episode 5 Season 3 "The Horrors of Pennhurst Asylum" for inspo.

The digital clock glowed bright red, midnight on the dot as Kylo pulled into the gravel driveway of the abandoned asylum in his beat-up car. Hux had found the hospital by sheer luck a couple of days before thanks to viewer who suggested the place, spending the next few days finding and reading up on any piece of information available.

Hux made the decision to go during the night of a full moon, citing something about ghostly activity being the highest during this time. Kylo thought it was bullshit but agreed to tag along either way. It wasn’t like he was Hux’s camera man and the one person who could get Hux inside any building, locks and chains be damned. It wasn’t like Kylo wanted to be comfortable at home, playing Xbox and eating an entire pizza by himself instead of walking around some stupid building at night…

“Do you think you’ll finally see a ghost this time?” Kylo asks as he steps out of his car, zipping up his hoodie as the cool night air made him shiver.

“We’ve seen them before, Kylo. Can you make yourself useful and get the cameras ready while I pull up the map on my phone,” Hux says as he flips through his camera roll to find a screenshot of the original blueprint of the facility he found online. “This place is notorious for its sightings. Evil spirits and all.”

Kylo unpacked and setup the camera rig and lights they used during their “investigations”, making sure the camera was charged as he thought back to the one time he forgot to bring extra batteries. Hux was _not_ happy. If there had been a ghost, Kylo was sure Hux’s angry tirade at him probably scared it off.

After a couple of minutes, Kylo had his backpack and camera ready to go, shinning the bright light in Hux’s face. “I’m ready.”

Hux, still sitting in the car, scrambled out quickly to wear his own headlight and camera on a chest harness he bought after he realized that all his footage was useless because he kept moving erratically, turning this way and that at every little noise he heard.

Finally, after several minutes of them double checking their gear, they made their way to the hospital entrance, the light from the full moon illuminating the pathway perfectly.

“Cameras ready?”

“Ready.”

Hux cleared his throat before reciting the information he had read days before, his voice sounding clinical as he spoke. “Arkanis Asylum was built in January 23, 1903 and was primarily used for people with mental disabilities and epilepsy. The facility fell into poor living conditions due to overcrowding, being understaffed and lack of funds. Lack of knowledge in regard to mental health also lead to many people with ADHD or ADD to also be admitted into the hospital- “

“You know I feel like they would’ve put you in here back in the day,” Kylo cut him off as he looked around the main entrance, camera light illuminating the dark room. “You go on and on about ghosts all the time, there’s no way you would’ve escaped getting thrown in this place.”

Hux rolled his eyes, the fact that he thought Kylo would take this serious for once was never going to happen. “Can you please, for once, pretend you actually believe in this? Just one time, Kylo,” Hux said as his green eyes scanned the room nervously. “You know, if we saw a demon, I’d offer you in exchange for my life.”

“Only then will I admit demons are real,” Kylo says as his big feet practically stomped on the old tile floor, kicking debris and pieces of old furniture without any regard to how loud the sound echoed in the quiet hallway. “Oh fuck, what’s that?!”

Hux whipped around so fast, he almost tripped on a broken piece of tile, waving his flashlight around in front of him as if that would be the one thing a ghost would be scared of. “Fuck Kylo, don’t do that! We aren’t even near the haunted rooms yet!” Hux frantically whispered.

Kylo laughed as he kept walking, camera steady as ever. “Keep talking, Hux. I can only hear your panicked breathing.”

“You’re an idiot,” Hux uttered as he read the map on his phone, guiding them to the tunnel system underground, reading off his notes on his phone. “Although the facility offered its residents a home and care, the hospital began to decline as overcrowding and a dwindling budget made the living conditions deplorable. Arkanis hired a new doctor in 1976 named Dr. Snoke- “

“What the fuck kind of name is Snoke?”

“-who was known for punishing and torturing his patients by injecting them with the most painful injection that wouldn’t cause too much damage, allowing him to continue his torture for prolonged periods of time- “

“What the fuck, that guy sounds like an asshole.”

“The hospital was eventually shut down but there are many reports of several patients and nurses who roam the hallways in various locations like the nurse’s quarters and the underground tunnel system that we’re currently heading-WHAT WAS THAT?”

Hux aimed his flashlight and camera behind him, Kylo following suit. “Hux, that’s just the wind.”

Hux laughed nervously, the adrenaline making his ears ring. “No, it sounded like someone was whispering, I swear.”

“Let’s see. Hey ghouls, tell me to go fuck myself!”

“Jesus Christ, Kylo,” Hux couldn’t help the snort that escaped him as he stood close to Kylo’s massive body, still scared despite his laughter. “I’m going to have a heart attack and we’re not even done.”

They continued to walk further downstairs, Kylo adding his own useless commentary as Hux explained what atrocities were done to numerous patients. The walls were dilapidated, and the air was musty as they went further down, walls covered in gravity and random furniture that were likely in the same place for decades. The echo of their footsteps was amplified in the still of night, the sound of air rushing in through the cracks in the walls made Hux twitch and turn around wildly, while Kylo reminded him that air wasn’t paranormal.

They reached the end of the long hallway unscathed, much to Hux’s relief because the spirit that was said to dwell there was supposedly extremely violent. But Hux wasn’t going to leave without confirming for himself that this place was actually haunted. He may be scared but he was also very, very stubborn.

“I think we should turn on the spirit box.”

“Oh god, not the stupid spirit box.”

“What if we make contact with something, this could be huge!” Hux said as he went to unzip Kylo’s backpack, forgetting for one second how unnerved he was. He knew Kylo was opening his mouth to say something, “Don’t say the only thing that’s huge in this room is your dick or I’m going to push you out the window.”

“You can’t push me out the window when we’re in the basement, Hux,” Kylo laughed as he turned the camera to Hux’s face. “But can you repeat that you think my dick is huge for all our viewers that have been dying to know.”

“No, unfortunately I can’t,” Hux said, not bothering to spare a glance in Kylo’s direction as he turned on the spirit box that they managed to score a couple of months ago, much to Kylo’s annoyance. The static sounded far too loud and Hux could tell Kylo was irritated by it already. Kylo swore Hux heard what he wanted to hear whenever they used it, but there was enough evidence for Hux to believe this method could work…even if Kylo managed to debunk his previous claims.

“What stupid questions are we going to ask now?” Kylo seemed bored at the prospect of talking to an empty room like they always did.

“Is there anything here with us?” Hux spoke as authoritative as he could, standing still as he held the spirit box in front of him. “Give us a sign that you’re here. Show yourself!”

The white noise resonated in the dark hallways and rooms; random snippets of radio advertisements were audible for half a second before switching to another channel. Hux frowned as he listened for anything discernable, anything that could point to a spirit near them. He decided to try again, speaking to a particular spirit. “Dr. Snoke, what did you do to those innocent people?”

“Yeah man, why were you such a fucking asshole? Show yourself and I’ll let you torture me, you pussy!”

“Kylo, I swear to god- “

_PAIN_

Kylo, for the first time that night, finally shut up. He stood closely behind Hux as the redhead looked back at him with wide green eyes, mouth slightly open. “Holy shit, did you hear that?”

“It’s just static, it didn’t even sound clear…” Kylo tried to argue. _Tried_.

“Snoke, do you want to hurt us?” Hux spoke clearly, the fact that a spirit finally interacted with them was his driving force to keep going. “Answer us. Don’t be a coward!”

“Hux, what the- “Kylo barked out a laugh as he heard Hux’s words. “When I talk to them like that, you get mad but suddenly it’s okay? I’m not even mad, that was pretty hot. We should fuck in here.”

“Coward! You’re a monster. Give us a sign and we’ll leave.”

“I’m serious, how pissed do you think they’d get if I sucked your dick right here, in front of that wall with all the spray-painted pentagrams?”

Hux turned to berate Kylo and his stupid obsession with having sex in haunted places when he was cut off by three words that broke through the static on the spirit box…

_YOU_

_PAIN_

_DIE_

The words were heard in quick succession before there was only static again. Kylo looked at Hux, who in turn looked up at Kylo and an unspoken decision was made. Kylo pushed Hux ahead of him as they ran towards the metal staircase that lead to the upper level. The lights of their cameras moved widely as they ran, with Kylo yelling for Hux to run faster as Hux yelled back about not knowing where the exit was.

At one-point Kylo tripped and Hux didn’t notice until he had rounded the corner, running back to haul Kylo’s massive frame up by his shirt collar thanks to the sudden bust of strength that was a direct result of being scared shitless and the strongest adrenaline rush of his life. They ran down a long hallway that didn’t look familiar, dick shaped graffiti and the worst drawings of weed littered the walls, but they had no time to admire them as they kept running to what appeared to be the entrance.

“That’s the entrance, hurry up!” Hux ran so fast, thankful for the first time that he was skinny and didn’t have to carry the backpack with all their equipment.

They busted through the old, wooden doors and didn’t stop until they were a few feet from Kylo’s car. Hux’s hair was wild and he was slightly paler than he normally was. Kylo was heaving loudly as he pointed the camera back to the hospital, as if he would catch whatever they thought was chasing them on camera.

They looked at each other as they tried to calm their rapidly beating heartbeats and heavy breathing. Hux was the first one to smile maniacally, grabbing Kylo by his broad shoulders.

“Did you hear that? We finally heard something!” Hux ran a shaky hand through his red hair, laughing nervously as he looked back at the dark windows of the old building. “Jesus fuck, I thought I was going to die.”

“I fucking fell, and you didn’t even notice!” Kylo looked irate and betrayed but slowly began to smile, bending over to place his hands on his knees. “I tripped on my own shoe like a fucking dumbass.” His body began to shake as he laughed hard, the aftermath of having ran for his life.

Hux snorted but he couldn’t even be horrified about it as he fell back to lean on the hood of Kylo’s car, holding his stomach as he tried to breathe through his laughing. “You talk so much shit and can’t even run for your life properly.” Hux had tears, literal tears in his eyes as he continued to laugh hysterically.

The cool night air managed to cool them off as they settled down and sat on the floor in front of the car, lights and cameras still on and facing the haunted building. Kylo turned to looks at Hux, taking in the wild hair and satisfied smile on his face.

“How mad do you think ghosts will get if we fucked in the car?” Kylo asked as he looked at Hux, waiting for a genuine answer.

“I’m not fucking you here,” Hux made a face as he turned to look at Kylo but regretting it as the moonlight casted shadows over his handsome face. He didn’t know what it was; perhaps it was the reality of their near-death experience or the fact that they managed to record something concrete for the first time ever that had him contemplating the idea of celebratory car sex. “But we can drive away from the property and find a spot, I don’t want to get ambushed by angry ghosts while I’m balls deep in you.”

“Oops, the camera was on. I’ll edit that out,” Kylo said breathlessly as he pulled Hux up hurriedly, practically shoving him into the passenger side of the car. As he rounded the front of the car to get into the driver side, Kylo looked back at the building, cupping his hands over his mouth and yelling, “Suck my dick, ghosts!”

“No! He doesn’t mean that!” Hux yelled back.

Despite the final insult, not one ghost interrupted them as they parked a couple of miles away.

Hux finally understood the allure of Kylo’s penchant for sex after stressful situations.

* * *

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